Hello Again, Old Friend

28 09 2010

So, I kind of abandoned you, didn’t I, blog? I wasn’t getting what I wanted out of you, and so I deleted my posts and left you to sit in the vast emptiness, alone and unwanted.

I’m sorry.

If nothing else, I’ll leave you with this post, to keep you company.

I could use some company, too. Is that you, blog? Is that what you were all along? Hm.

I don’t know what to think, anymore. On Monday, I’m frustrated and tired. On Tuesday I’m renewed. On Wednesday, I’m vibrant. On Thursday I’m tired again. On Friday I’m content.

My creativity is limping about like a wounded animal–perhaps not so literally, physically wounded, but perhaps more like its pride has been wounded. A great hunter, now sidelined and alone.

I always tell myself, “Okay, I’ve got the time, I need to do what I want to do! Draw what I want to draw! My style, my medium, my size. Whatever I want.” And I never do. Then I wonder why? Why can’t I do what I used to do? And just now it’s hit me. I need instruction. I need a direction. I NEED to be told what to do, or else I’m useless. Mind you, not strict rules…rather, a gentle nudge towards the right path.

Isn’t that what we all need?

What am I doing here?

I missed you, blog. I won’t leave you again.

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